Santa brought something to Nate unwanted and unasked for this year.

Bells Palsy.

Not a very nice Christmas gift, if you ask me.

Two days before Christmas, he told me he couldn’t blink right. I brushed him off.

On Christmas Eve, he told me his smile only went half way. I thought he was messin with me.

On Christmas Day, I watched him talk and realized somewhat alarmingly that half of his lips weren’t moving, and that his eye didn’t blink when the other one did.

The next day, his right eye was shooting out to the side.

The next day we spent 4 hours in Primary’s Children Hospital putting our minds to rest about a potential stroke or brain tumor.

Their diagnosis was Bells Palsy.

Of course, that was my home diagnosis, but you just can’t trust yourself when it comes to stuff like this.

No cause, no cure. Just wait it out and hope it goes away.

Thankfully, it has.

Two weeks later, his smile has returned and he can blink both eyes and he’s almost 100%.

Actually, 1 in 60 will get Bells Palsy in their lifetime. That’s pretty high odds. Who knew?

Even these 2 fine fellas have had it. So Nate’s in good company.

 And just as good lookin!

A few months ago, I attended a church meeting where the guest speaker was Betty Van Orden, who wrote the book "12 Days of Christmas". She told us all about her wonderfully successful gift-giving experiences at Christmas time - for her children and grandchildren.  She inspired me to do this 12 days thing for both my mother and Todd’s mother.

So we had a little family meeting in November and decided on the gifts and made all of the plans. The kids and husband were all excited about it. But in the end, you know who did all the work.

The shopping, the wrapping, the tags, the notes and stories, the packaging and shipping. Yes, all me.

But that’s okay because I really felt strongly about doing it and knew that both of our dear widowed mothers would really enjoy this.

So we delivered 12 wrapped gifts, with love notes inside, and starting on the 13th of December, they were to open one each morning until the final one was opened on Christmas Eve. That way, they could have a special gift and a note from us every day for 12 days.

Both mothers were very surprised and very excited. It was fun for us at home to look at our chart (yes, I printed out a chart) and see what our mothers were opening on that very morning. I got phone calls from my mom just about every day telling me how cute or fun or yummy it was. She never told me any of the gifts were stupid. That’s an inside joke. Mom does like to tell her kids that their gifts were stupid. (Only if they really were stupid.) So that was a relief.

Their gifts were: homemade carmels, a bright red spatula, a Christmas dishcloth, a bird ornament for their tree that matched our ornament, a mug with cocoa, a festive note pad and pen, Mrs. Cavanaughs chocolates, dried mangoes, a CD of Christmas music, a framed family photo, inspirational stories, and a homemade red satin pillowcase to use for December.

(Side note - every time JoAnn comes to stay at our house, she brings her own satin pillowcase. I, being an observant and dutiful daughter-in-law, noticed this and so I chose to make her satin for Christmas. After my mother opened this same satin pillowcase, she remarked that she had never had one - but that most women her age liked them because they kept the expensive hairdo nice while sleeping - no friction or something scientific like that. I myself wondered how that would feel, because I’ve never had one either. So I made myself a red satin pillowcase also, and I’m here to tell you folks - I’m a changed woman. Not only does my hair look gorgeous every time I roll out of bed, it just feels so wonderful on the cheeks. Seriously, it’s divine. You’ve got to try one. I’m converted.)

When my mother-in-law tells me that I’m such a wonderful mother and a kind and loving person and she’s so happy that I’m married to her son, then I think I did okay.

It was a lot of work, and added to some stress at the beginning of December (see previous post) but ultimately, I am so happy we did it. What am I saying? I’m so happy that I did it.

I know both moms had a lovely December. And that’s all that counts. Because I love them.

And the gorgeous hair in the morning?: Yeah, that part’s not really true.

Well, it’s been like 4 years since I blogged. Maybe I’m exaggerating a little.

I’ve been missing it. But haven’t wanted to take the time to do it.

I enjoyed my 2 week Christmas vacation so much! So relaxing. Reading books, watching movies, time with the kids, eating, baking, playing cards, lots of sleeping. It’s been wonderful.

Today two kids went back to school. Which is also wonderful. For lots of reasons.

For my benefit, I am finally going to post some of the happenings from December. So that my year is complete. And then I can publish the whole 2009 thing. Won’t that be fun?

Our December started with a bang. Actually 2 bangs. A terribly snowy slick-road day. Todd called to tell me that he had just rear-ended someone. Not a lot of damage. He just couldn’t stop at a stop sign. And he was in our 4-wheel drive!

So I told him I’d drive over to where he was and trade cars with him, since I had to take Maddie to SLC.

Yes, on the way to meet him to trade cars, I was rear-ended. At a stop sign. This guy couldn’t stop either.

He didn’t apologize and didn’t even get out of his car. I had to go to him and ask for info. He kept insisting there was no damage and he was perturbed with me. I wasn’t about to leave the scene of the crime without some ID! I’ve been trained by my husband!

There WAS damage, to the tune of $700, thank you very much.

Two crashes in one day, maybe an hour apart, 2 different cars. Our insurance company just loves us!

But then December got a bit better, thanks to 3 wonderful events.

First, our ward Christmas party, which the husband and I were in charge of. 

The husband had a month-long momentary lapse of judgment and thought that he was getting paid thousands of dollars for all his time and building materials. By the time we were done with the gym, it looked like a professional production. There was a whole wall of Bethlehem scenery, 5 8-foot palm trees made from carpet tubes, a shepherd tent complete with fake twinkling fire, an empty inn, a temple, and a barn and manger for baby Jesus. Oh, and let’s not forget the giant wall that Samuel the Lamanite preached from, complete with real ivy ripped out of my yard. 

By the time we had it ready for the party, we had about 10 minutes to run home and change into our costumes and collect our children and head back.

Stressful? you ask?

Why, yes indeed.

I asked for a divorce that night.

Thankfully, he didn’t take me seriously, and by the time the night was over, I was feeling warm and fuzzy again.

Because it just turned out so well!

250 guests, thousands of children, all dressed in Biblical attire (well, the ones who made the effort anyway), plenty of food for all, and then the nativity program involving 40 kids. It all went off without a hitch. Even those unruly loud children who I didn’t think listened to a word I said - well, they performed beautifully. Did it all perfect. (Including my Gabby who was the saintly virgin Mary).

I was dumbfounded.

But never should have doubted.

The evening was a success, with nary an elf, a Christmas tree, a reindeer or Santa Claus.

I repented of the divorce thing and all is well.

Second, I attended one of favorite concerts every December - the Salt Lake Children’s Choir performing at the Church of the Madeleine. The music was amazingly gorgeous, as always. I just can’t understand why any kid would want to be in that choir. It doesn’t look fun. It’s all for the enjoyment of parents and other strange adults (like me). I leaned over to the lady next to me and asked if she had a child up there. Yes. He’s 11. Does he enjoy being in the choir? I think so. Isn’t Ralph (the director) mean? No, he’s a lot of fun.

Well, if being whipped is your idea of fun, then yeah.

Seriously, that guy bores holes in your soul just looking at you. He could ruin your life in about 4 seconds.

But he must be sweet on the inside, else all of these children would be crying.

Oh, wait, there were children crying at the end. And there were those 2 who completely passed out in the middle of their performance. Flat on the marble floor. Would be kind of funny if they didn’t get giant goose eggs on their noggins.

That sweet lady next to me - yeah, her kid was one of them. She went running when she saw him dropping.

Kind of ruins the spirit of Christmas feeling we all had - children in peril and all.

She said the night before one of the kids vomited. During the song.

Thankfully, we had no spewing.

And it ends with the whole congregation belting out 4 Christmas carols with the choir and the amazing pipe organ. Definitely worth all of the fainting, crying, spewing and fear, if you ask me.

Finally, third, the concert to beat all concerts (except for this year) - the Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert. Yes, I can’t believe I’m saying this, with me being a hard core Mo Tab fan and all, but I was disappointed!  It just wasn’t as good as usual, I guess because the guest singer was Natalie Cole, and she sounded about as good as the sweet sister living down the street. So it just wasn’t as amazing as in years past. But still better than a poke in the eye with an icicle.

Whew!

This is getting long. Better quit for now. Gotta rest my overworked phalanges.

I’m too busy to blog.

Just can’t fit it into my schedule. What with holidays and baking and eating and Christmas shopping and decorating and planning church parties for 250 and planning Christmas cards and family photo shoots and baking and eating and working and going to new holiday movies (LOVE LOVE LOVE Fantastic Mr. Fox btw) and paying bills and cutting coupons and baking and eating.

Whew! November and December are rough.

I’m trying to hang in there. I’m thinking more and more of a tiny cottage in Italy. Alone. In the country. With no phone.

I don’t think I’ll get what I want for Christmas.

But I digress. I was talking about blogging. Not running away.

Blog photos are just down on the bottom of my list of things to do. Along with cleaning my oven.

But that is supremely sad, because we had such a lovely Thanksgiving trip.

So here’s the quick version.

I invited my family and my mother and sister and another sister and another sister’s families to my other sister’s house in Blackfoot, Idaho. Nice of me, huh? 22 people. But it all worked out.

Plenty of food (THREE 20-lb turkeys, yes that’s 2.73 pounds per person) and plenty of floor space for sleeping children, plus 4 huge friendly black dogs, 2 spunky princely goats (William and Harry), 6 frisky horses, 3 noisy beautiful roosters and one cute tiny hen, 2 quads, 1 rhino, 10 acres to roam around on by the Snake River, and a very scary ride in an STI.

Cousins cooking outside. Literally cooking.

Remember that stinky plastic goop that you put on a stick and blow it up into huge bubbles? Maddie’s first time.

The Princes

One of the 4 black beasts - the cleanest and friendliest. He never found a lap he didn’t like. The kids wanted to take him home. All 200 pounds.

Sister Ali using her onion goggles while preparing stuffing - no tears!

Beth Rachel Ali Cheryl - 4 of the sisters

Walking along the Snake River

Giant bonfire in the old garden area - we threw in a few frozen tomatoes and squash

Steve’s toy - a Subaru STI. Todd wanted a ride in it. My mistake was going along with them. By the time we left the driveway, we were going about 60, then around the corner and we were going 110. Two-lane country road, 35 mph zone. Curvy, snowy, neighbors. Get the idea? I was flying around the backseat, even with a seat belt on. Steve yelled back "Beth, use your spine!" which is funny in my family, because those are the exact words that my husband uttered many many years ago when I was flying around while he was driving. Funny because most people don’t use the word spine in day to day chatting. The phrase stuck.

It was a frightening few minutes. I actually thought out the death part. How we would crash, and how mangled we would be, and what a bummer that  our kids would be left without parents on Thanksgiving, and how long it would take before someone figured out that we were missing, just stuff like that.

Good times.

Other than those few moments of terror, the 3 days in Idaho were fantastic.

I’m grateful for my lovely kin.

Back in the summer, Maddie asked if she could write on her beautiful clean pink bedroom wall.

A few years ago, I would have thrown her out to the back lawn with a tent just for the suggestion.

But now we’ve lived in this brand new house for 5 years, so I was much more open to graffiti than before.

And I happened to read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch and he encouraged parents to let their children draw or paint on their bedroom walls. Free to express themselves, you know? How it’s important to their well being and all.

So I agreed to the writing on the wall thing.

She began.

Then when her friends were over, they would add their 2 cents.

Some words of encouragement, some comments about cute boys, some funny sayings, some love notes.

She loved her wall.

She added photos and other things.

Then the summer passed and some of the wall-writing friends were mean to her and no longer her friends. Lots of serious teenage girl drama involved which I won’t get into.

But that led to bad feelings about the sentiments that were now permanently on her wall. Looking at her every day. Mocking her.

One day, she teary-eyed asked me if she could paint over her wall and erase all of it from her heart.

I agreed.

It didn’t happen, I guess out of laziness, but she found other ways to cover up what she no longer wished to see. Posters and what not.

And new friends have added their touches.

Her wall is a happy place again.

And I like it.

Kurt.

On Glee. 

I am still gleefully in love with Glee.

This show is irrevent, politically incorrect, rude, shocking, sometimes crude, and downright hilarious

And yet, it is also sweet and endearing and moving.

It makes me cry and laugh. Usually in the same episode.

And I love Kurt.

In case you’re not a Glee-er, here’s the rundown: He has known he was gay since the age of 5, but just barely told his macho father about his feelings. His father already knew, but waited for Kurt to feel capable of sharing it with him. And this last show, Kurt turned down a singing part to spare his father getting teased about Kurt singing a girl song-Defying Gravity.

Tou-ching!

Which, by the way, was an amazing performance by both Kurt and Rachel.

He’s just the cutest boy. With a girl voice. And fantastic clothes.

And did you see him perform Beyonce’s All the Single Ladies in his unitard? So delightful!

So I’ve decided to adopt one of his statements as my new motto because it suits me so well.

I am full of ennui.

(said in a high pitched airy sophisitcated voice like his).

I had to look it up. Yes, I’ve heard of ennui (pronounced ahn-wee).  But what exactly is ennui?

Weariness or dissatisfaction resulting from lack of interest or boredom.

That basically describes me half of my life. I am constantly dissatisfied and often because of lack of interest.

I didn’t realize there was a word that described me so well.

So I’m full of ennui.

And I’m going to stick with it. I’m going to find every opportunity to use my new phrase. (even if I’m not actually weary or dissatisfied - it’s just fun to say)

Until I hear a new Glee catch phrase that I just have to use.

(first one was Your resentment is delicious to me.)

You just gotta love Sue Sylvester. She’s got the best lines on television.

Last week, the husband and I went to Michael Jackson’s This Is It.

When Michael died, I didn’t cry.

Had he died 10 years ago, I might have.

But I think I’m like most normal humans, we kind of thought he turned into a creepy fella.

I wanted to see this movie, though, because I do respect who he used to be, and the amazing music he brought to the world.

I cried while watching it. Not just because he was dead. But for all of the other people who would have been so greatly impacted at his death. I had no idea how extensive his tour preparations had been. You just think - oh, there were some musicians and some back up singers and a few dancers.

But no, this cast included hundreds of people. Yes fantastic backup singers, yes amazing musicians, and yes many super talented dancers. But there were stage designers, and lighting technicians, and designers making costumes, and so many others. They created movies to be used during the concert, 3D effects, fireworks, fire rings, huge robots, giant ghosts flying over the arena. There were just so many facets to this production. It was huge.

And now it will never be.

They can’t simply replace the lead singer and go ahead with it.

The show will not go on.

It filled me with such sadness that all of these people involved felt it the privilege of a lifetime to be working with Michael. They had hoped and dreamed for this. They had been working hard for months. It was life-changing for them. It was everything.

And then it just disappeared. He disappeared.

I really felt for all of these amazing performers. And for the director, Kenny Ortega, who did such great work on this.

And then there was MJ - looking better than I expected, and dancing way better than I expected. He never missed a step. Kept up with all those young bucks he hired. And this was just rehearsal.

It would have been the concert of a lifetime to attend.

This WAS It.

I somehow managed to have another birthday over the weekend. I don’t know how this keeps happening! The years are taking like 2 months now.

Anywho, another year older, more chubby, more wrinkled, more tired. Blah blah blah. Whatever.

But this birthday was actually a delight from sunup to sundown.

It began with a beautiful hike up Hidden Valley Trail in Ogden - a steep 90 minute intense walk up the mountain, ending in a fabulous view of a hidden valley! Julie and Holly were such lovely walking companions. Our hikes are even more emotionally and spiritually uplifting than physically! Amazing women. I’m so grateful for them. We solve all of the world’s problems in our hikes together. And more importantly, our own.

When I returned home, I baked my cake.

A week ago, I ate lunch at a cute little place called Plates and Palates with darling Krissy. For dessert, we shared a piece of their special dessert for the day - pumpkin cranberry pecan upside down bundt cake with whipped topping. How’s that for a mouthful! And indeed, it WAS a mouthful. Oh, it was divine. In fact, the man seated at the next table really wanted a bite of ours - we got the last piece!

It was so good I asked them for the recipe, knowing full well the answer would be no.

Then I figured I would just google it and see what popped up.

Well, by gosh golly, if google isn’t just the most amazing invention ever. Anything you need or want, it’s really at your fingertips in about 4 seconds. A miracle.

I found a recipe that sounded exactly like what I had eaten. I determined I would make it for my birthday cake.

And so I did.

It was easy. And beautiful. And I ate a piece all by myself while it was still warm and gooey and the children were still in school. It was a fantastic edible pleasure. Wow! My new favorite cake. Which is already completely gone.

The evening’s fun was the premiere of another one of Todd’s company’s movies - Nitro Circus Country Fried. We headed down to the Energy Solutions Arena at 6. Maddie took a friend, Nate took a friend, and Hannah took a friend. They immediately put Hannah and Karlie to work signing up raffle names at the entrance. She said people were asking for their autographs and photos with them all night long. They kept saying that they weren’t in the movie, not famous, nobodys, etc. But they didn’t seem to care. Autographs and photos anyway.

Our neighbors and friends joined us there. The movie started about 7:30. There was quite a full house. Standing room only. It was loads of fun.

Afterwards, we got photos of the kids with some of the celebs. And scored lots of free loot - hats, posters, stickers, and shirts.

Maddie, Jace, Tenacious J (Jeremy Rawle), Parker, Lauren 

Chillin with Erik Roner 

Andy Bell - washed up motorcyle rider 

This tandem motorcyle was Todd’s invention 

When we all got home about 10:30 p.m. the kids sent me upstairs for 10 minutes while they decorated the dining room and got their cards and flowers out. What a delightful way to end my long lovely birthday.

I love my family.

Maddie designed her Halloween costume this year, with a nutty goofy LOUD crazy darling friend. Superhero t-shirts from Hot Topic, fish nets, and homemade netting tu-tu thingys they made.

And these are the fine studly men who ended up waiting for the 2 superheros to get ready.

We have a 70’s dude, which looks more like a creepy aging CIA agent gone bad, a gangsta rap star wannabe, a boy who really doesn’t look like he likes Halloween or costumes, and Obi Wan Kanobi (Maddie made a little tail out of embroidery floss for him to wear in his hair - attached with a hot glue gun).

Then Hannah took off around bedtime for a party of some unknown origin, destination and length. Looking like a cheetah. Only the top half was safe to show here.

And then myself. A dead hippie. Because as I learned from Gabby, it’s more fun to be dead than alive.

Our sweet little OCD boy, Jack, has achieved freedom over his kingdom.

The husband and I, his devoted servants, buried an electric line around the perimeter of our yard. After a few short weeks of training with tasty hot dog morsels, he knew his boundaries and wouldn’t cross them. Wouldn’t even look at the hot dog lying beckoningly in the neighbor’s yard.

Or at least when he did broach the security line, he very quickly realized that the sharp jolt to his neck through that little black box was not worth repeating.

Even for a cute white poodle.

Actually, I never saw a cute white poodle, but there have been other varieties flaunting themselves around the electric border.

And he just watches and barks and struts his stuff. And remains in our yard.

Truly a miracle, considering he used to bolt at every opportunity, with one of us chasing him around the neighborhood, with him sneaking a peek over his shoulder to see how close we were getting to him.

Now he’s free to roam, sniff, dig, mark his territory anywhere he feels like, and hunt for mice.

He was rooting around in our bushes the other day.

Todd: Maybe he found a mouse.

Me: We don’t have mice.

On cue: mouse ran across the patio to the other side and scurried down a hole under our cement.

Me: Well, I guess we do have mice.

Jack has been staring down that hole every day. Hoping one day he will get to "play" with that cute mouse.

We love our little boy, Jack. So happy that he is happy!

And free!